I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize