i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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