I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
