some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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