Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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