In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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