i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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