Three words: puerto rican gang bang
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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