You just made me feel so damn special
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
