I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
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Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
You can't just leave with hair like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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