what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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