once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
