I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
last night I used snow as a chaser
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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