kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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