Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
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they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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