I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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