You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
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