This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
