i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
