She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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