at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
