omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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