fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
