Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out

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(732): feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out http://tfl.nu/y0cc

Replies (22) Good night (4774) Bad night (1578)
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(305): View more from Florida

Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...

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(305): Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid... http://tfl.nu/f15q

Replies (37) Good night (8579) Bad night (685)
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(647): View more from Ontario

The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.

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(647): The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display. http://tfl.nu/9yl8

Replies (13) Good night (1180) Bad night (5863)
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(407): View more from Florida

I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.

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(407): I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level. http://tfl.nu/6nqz

Replies (27) Good night (1572) Bad night (9032)
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(205): View more from Alabama

i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers

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(205): i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers http://tfl.nu/g3p7

Replies (25) Good night (6922) Bad night (1229)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted

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(610): Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted http://tfl.nu/q55a

Replies (11) Good night (5861) Bad night (2786)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.

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(918): I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation. http://tfl.nu/6ld9

Replies (6) Good night (1033) Bad night (2841)
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(801): View more from Utah

If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...

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(801): If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy... http://tfl.nu/s54g

Replies (14) Good night (3954) Bad night (906)
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(571): View more from Virginia

i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy

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(571): i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy http://tfl.nu/ffaz

Replies (13) Good night (945) Bad night (1689)
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(941): View more from Florida

It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.

(1-941): View more from Florida

Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.

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(941): It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere. (1-941): Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine. http://tfl.nu/u4qq

Replies (13) Good night (3409) Bad night (895)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?

(724): View more from Pennsylvania

stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.

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(412): so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head? (724): stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final. http://tfl.nu/zs0y

Replies (2) Good night (1532) Bad night (518)
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(518): View more from New York

Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.

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(518): Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time. http://tfl.nu/sw9x

Replies (2) Good night (1180) Bad night (368)
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(954): View more from Florida

I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.

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(954): I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school. http://tfl.nu/cu89

Replies (1) Good night (943) Bad night (337)
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(914): View more from New York

She's been drunk for three days now

(914): View more from New York

Like three straight days. 72 hours

(914): View more from New York

She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey

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(914): She's been drunk for three days now (914): Like three straight days. 72 hours (914): She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey http://tfl.nu/7xto

Replies (5) Good night (1065) Bad night (335)
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(216): View more from Ohio

if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid

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(216): if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid http://tfl.nu/kpi9

Replies (1) Good night (674) Bad night (333)

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