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• (815): View more from Illinois

  the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?

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• (646): View more from New York

  Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life

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• 

  19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (352): View more from Florida

  My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding

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• (607): View more from New York

  Did strip banana grams actually happen last night

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• (769): View more from Mississippi

  He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.

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• 

  The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (408): View more from California

  its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat

  (1-408): View more from California

  your picture is with misty too!!

  (408): View more from California

  I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??

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• (817): View more from Texas

  He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.

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