She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe isn't a time...
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad