i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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