I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now