Someone shit on the floor
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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