there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
