Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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