It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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