We won't sleep together?
I can tuck mytits in my pants
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
