He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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