Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
