goodnight i made you a song goodbye
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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