Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
