The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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