Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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