I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Randomize
