I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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