So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
