Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
where are my eyebrows?
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