doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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