they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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