dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
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