On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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