she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
