I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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