omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
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