Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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