Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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