butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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