so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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