I only kidnapped one of them. chill
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
