tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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