The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
