i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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