he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
