they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
3pm strippers are depressing
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
