well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
