ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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