the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
