White coat. Heels.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Crop dusting thru forever 21
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
