It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
